Why I’m having an abortion

I know that I can be a damn good mum to the one special needs child I have - he had many health problems when he was younger and he is speech delayed and has a short attention span now - but I don’t know if I could be a good mum to two kids, one or both of whom would have special needs. I know my mum had more children than she could afford or care for, and I don’t want to make the same mistake. For his sake, my boyfriend has never wanted children of his own.

For me, getting an abortion was the best decision.

I went to the Planned Parenthood this past Thursday, on a day set aside (for security reasons) for patients having abortions. I found out that I was only four weeks and one day pregnant, meaning I caught this incredibly early - so early, in fact, that surgical abortion isn’t even an option yet. So I chose to have a medical abortion.

At the clinic, my height, weight, blood pressure, and blood Rh type (negative or positive) were checked. The counsellor asked me questions like, “Are you aware that the alternatives for an abortion include continuing the pregnancy and becoming a parent, or continuing the pregnancy and putting the child up for adoption?”

I said, “Yes, or continuing the pregnancy and then dying”.

We soon found out I wasn’t going to be anaemic from blood loss. So I met with the doctor and took the Mifepristone in his office. He sent me home with a bag full of condoms, vicodin, antibiotics, anti-nausea meds, and misoprostol to complete the abortion at home. (He also threw in one package of Plan B, so there won’t be a next time.)

After I put my son to bed, I began #livetweetingabortion on Twitter. Why on earth would I choose to go through something so personal - and controversial - on Twitter? Have I no shame?

No, I don’t.

I don’t feel ashamed of having an abortion.

I believe in a woman’s right to choose, in general for others and in this case for me. Abortion doesn’t have to be justified and it doesn’t have to fit your neighbour’s or co-worker’s opinions of a “good enough reason”.

I think “I don’t want to be pregnant” is one of the best reasons there is for having an abortion (along with “I don’t want to be a parent” and “I’ll probably die”).

For some women, the abortion-by-pill doesn’t work. That night, after taking the pill, I talked with friends and fended off Twitter trolls for several hours before finally going to bed. I woke up early on Saturday … and nothing had happened. A medical abortion is supposed to work like a miscarriage - but I’d had no cramps. No bleeding. No abortion.