Parliamentarians should have a conscience vote on gay marriage

It's true, there is no assurance a conscience vote will be won. But with the right campaign, one that raises society's expectation of change and campaigns' confidence and skills, it can be "lost forward", as the Americans say, becoming a spring-board to the next vote.

Of course, conscience votes are not magic solutions. There are preconditions for success.

First, it is vital to empower and skill people to tell their personal story of discrimination.

Second, these people have to have the confidence and the skill to tell their story to policy-makers and legislators.

Third, it is important to reach out to sections of the community who are conflicted about reform. According to the most recent marriage equality opinion poll the only demographic where there is not a majority in favour of equality is the over 50s. That demographic is evenly split 46% against and 46% in favour. Clearly, we need to be telling our stories to our parents and their friends, as well as to politicians.

In an effort to encourage all these things, equality advocates are planning to run marriage equality workshops in major centres over the next few months.

But there's one very special ingredient to any successful conscience vote campaign that no amount of workshopping can instill: a belief in ourselves and our fellow citizens.

A conscience vote calls on us to stop relying on parties, policies and public figures. It calls on us to rely, instead, on our own ability to make change, and on the openness of those around us to this change.

I can vouch for how important this is. I have seen before that when we have faith in ourselves and others, anything is possible. I am convinced that if do the same now, if we can find that faith and act on it, full legal equality for same-sex partners is within our grasp.