Five ways to brighten a dull day

Start a rumour

Many an enjoyable day has been spent watching the result of a well-prepared rumour. The government rumour mill will spread the word as quick as greased lightning. For example, a well placed whisper that a major restructure is in the wind after a visit by an unknown “suit” will take off like wild-fire.

To start the rumour you should make the suggestion to a colleague that you have heard the man is a Human Resources consultant with a reputation for “streamlining” departments.

Never directly suggest that you think a review is in the wind; just give enough information to set off the minds of the impressionable into a stream of consciousness that will head in the direction of a dark and scary tunnel.

The impressionable person, probably a drama queen or a very bitter and cynical employee, will hit the ground running, and before you know it someone will be saying to you, “Did you know that a departmental review is happening?”. And you can truthfully say, “Really? I hadn’t heard that before. Who told you?”.