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A parent's delight, or not: what and how we can read to our children

By Jenny Ostini - posted Monday, 7 June 2004


I can't imagine anyone disputing the notion that reading to our children is important. Often the importance of reading is presented on the basis of skills: that children need to be read to in order to themselves learn to read. So in a way, reading to your children is simply another way to help them get ahead - a further part of one's parental repertoire that will lead directly to your children's academic achievement and subsequent successful, fulfilled adult lives.

As an academic I would argue that reading is one of the most basic skills needed to achieve academically. Being able to read and digest large amounts of information and being comfortable with the notion of finding information through reading is fundamental to education, in school, university and in life. Even in this age of multi-media, comfort with words is essential - technology is simply the tool that allows you to share words in different ways.

As a parent, reading is important for reasons other than academic achievement. Sharing a story means that paradoxically through reading the words of other people, you and your child are drawn closer together. There's a gift of imagination that comes through reading whereby your children are exposed to experiences other than their own and this enriches their own interior lives. There's the joy and pleasure that comes from a good story. And not the least, that when your children can themselves read, they become self-entertaining thereby gaining you precious moments of peace.

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As a self-confessed readaholic, one of the things that I most want to pass on to my children is a love of books. Books and words have sustained me intellectually, emotionally and financially most of my life. Sometimes though, love of reading is not enough. How can real parents with jobs and responsibilities and busy lives sit down and read to their real children with school and homework and television and their own busy lives?

If reading is important to you, then this has to be apparent to your children. This may seem obvious, but if you yourself do not read books then your children will not realise that this is an important activity. A somewhat more technical term for this is "learning through modelling"; a principle strongly endorsed by a wide range of parenting experts. You can't expect your children to have an active life of the mind if you don't. This does not mean that you have to read in front of your children. Most people with young children know this to be impossible without reinforced earplugs and perhaps a forcefield around one's armchair. But it does mean that your children need to be aware that you read in your own time and that you enjoy books. A pile of books beside your bed, newspapers and magazines in the house, family trips to the library: all these make it clear that reading is valued in your home.

This ties in with the idea that books need to be available, accessible and read by all members of the household. Perhaps I take this to extremes, piling books on most possible, and some impossible, surfaces but the principle is sound. This does not mean that children should be able to access all bookcases. My most precious books are securely tucked away on high surfaces and more high surfaces are being created as rapidly as possible. But children should have their own bookcases filled with books. If possible, there should also be shelves on family bookcases that they can also browse.

If reading is clearly important in the family and books are available, what is needed are opportunities for reading. Valuing reading as I do, it was a shock to me to find out how little I was reading to my own children. The unrelenting labour of raising a family often means few opportunities for reading. When those few opportunities do arise, sometimes the last thing you want to do is to sit down and read with your children. Over the past few years my partner and I have come up with some solutions to creating reading opportunities.

The first is partnership. In our case, my primary job is looking after the children with writing and most other things on the side. My partner is the one who leaves the home to work. This means that my patience for reading has pretty much worn out by the time he gets home. One thing that works is that while one person cooks the dinner, the other person reads to the children. This has the dual function of providing a good time for reading and also, keeping the children out of the kitchen. Sometimes the reading time is while one person does the dishes. Reading at this time works much better than last thing at night when everyone is tired and cranky. For this early evening reading time, we pick substantial books or series that will last days if not weeks. It creates an additional element of interest to have a story that carries over from the day before.

Another opportunity that I have learnt to take advantage of is the time spent waiting in the car. Perhaps other people don't wait around much, but I have found that there are many times that I am in the car, with one or both of my children, parked outside somewhere waiting. Even if the time is fairly brief, we can fit in a few stories. I keep a thick book of fairy tales tucked under the front seat and pull it out to read whenever we have to fill in time. You may be amazed, as I was, at how much time we have to read. I was pleased recently to hear my youngest ask if I thought Dad would be late so that we would have time to read.

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Part of my problem when I started carrying books around was that I thought that I had to finish a story every time. However, I have found that stopping at an appropriate place or even, if we have to quickly put the book away, continuing to discuss the story, holds the children's interest. Ask why the characters did something, what they think happens next, or play the "what if" game (what if the character did this instead of what they did?). These are all ways to maintain interest in stories and stimulate imagination. It's useful to refresh both the reader and listener's memories with a brief recap when you get back to the story, but serialised reading seems to work well with young children.

Talking about stories while doing other things can be another way of extending the reading experience. Talk about characters or activities from books while you are walking along the road, pushing the shopping trolley or playing in the park. Encourage your children to draw pictures of events or characters from books. Play make-believe games based on stories you've read together. In this way, book characters become part of the fabric of your lives and the books will be turned to again and again. To my children, Peter, Edmond, Susan and Lucy from C.S. Lewis' Narnia series are part of our lives and even the evil witch, Jadis has become part of their vocabulary. Watching the recent Eurovision song contest winners cavort onscreen, my daughter announced that they looked just like servants of Jadis with their wolfskin cloaks and whips.

Videos and computer games based on books can be part of this process though in almost all cases my preference would be to read the book together first before watching the video or playing the game. In such a way, the multi-media extends the reading experience instead of supplanting it.

Finding Good Books to Read Together

Every school, library and family magazine has suggestions for appropriate reading material. By all means, try out some of the recommendations. However, don't feel constrained by these lists or by tradition. Just because it is something endorsed by a public organisation, that doesn't mean that it is something that your child will enjoy. Bear in mind that these lists are guided by fashion and also by the need to continually present new material. It can be a great way to find new books, experience different authors and to find what's "in fashion". It can be fun to go to the library together to try to find some of these new books. I have a new list of books to track down after reading Noel Perrin's A Child's Delight. In addition to listing many children's books that I haven't read, it was a collection of charming and witty essays on neglected children's classics.

Again, because you read something as a child, it doesn't mean that your child will be interested. Get your children involved in the choice of book. Once you find something that you think they will enjoy, give it a go. If it's not working, then don't feel that you have to persist to the end. I loved the Anne of Green Gables series as a fairly young child, however, it was much too "talky" for my daughter at this stage. She prefers something with a bit more action to balance the dialogue. So, my much-loved books will go back on the shelf until she wants to try them again.

A few principles have guided our selection of books. The first is that the book must be enjoyed by both the reader and the listener. If reading is about sharing and drawing closer together, then it is also about the interests of the reader as well as the listener. If you don't enjoy reading the book, it will come through clearly and render pointless the exercise. Both my partner and I enjoy fantasy so that is a frequent choice in our household. Historical stories, action stories, poetry - these are all interests that can be shared with your children.

A second principle is to avoid books with too much dialogue. People talking back and forth can be difficult for children to follow. Think of your children at an adult social event, their attention span and subsequent boredom and/or terrorism. Try to pick a book that moves along quickly and balances dialogue with action. Other kids having adventures is always of interest (try the aforementioned C.S. Lewis Narnia series, Enid Blyton's The Faraway Tree and The Magic Chair, E. Nesbitt's The Railway Children). Talking animals is another popular choice (May Gibbs' Gumnut Babies and Other Tales, Hugh Lofting, The Story of Doctor Dolittle and for older children, Richard Adams, Watership Down,). Books that combine children and talking animals are a sure winner (for older children try Philip Pullman's trilogy, His Dark Materials).

Fantasy is a rich mine of books for children. Among others on my list are Madeleine L'Engle's Wrinkle in Time series and George MacDonald's books The Princess and the Goblin and The Princess and Curdie. The Harry Potter books are great fun to read but should probably be saved for a pre-teen. Historical novels can introduce children to how people lived in other ages, even if told with contemporary sensibilities in mind. Philip Pullman's Ruby in the Smoke series is a great introduction to Victorian England and the status of women at that time.

Books with illustrations help maintain interest. I've found some recent editions of classic children's books with colour illustrations that have stimulated long discussions of the characters and helped to create interest in the story. Some are expensively and lavishly illustrated and clearly meant to be read only with adult assistance or indeed, aimed mainly at nostalgic adults. Others are mass market publications that are an inexpensive introduction to classics. We found garishly illustrated Enid Blyton's at our local newsagent that have been much loved in our house.

Poetry can be great fun to read with children. Try an illustrated collection such as 100 Australian Children's Poems. Poetry, especially that written for children, has a tempo and rhythm that grabs attention and keeps it riding along to the end. Share poetry that you enjoy. Even if, they (or you) don't understand everything in the poem, you can share the enjoyment of the language, images and rhythm.

Don't scorn magazines and newspapers. Glossy pictures and even political cartoons can be starting points for discussions. Or simply sit down and leaf through your favourite magazine and enjoy spending the time together.

If you haven't read much with your children, don't expect that they will immediately enjoy sitting down and listening to you. Most children love stories but may at first find it hard to sit down and pay attention. Start with simple board books and brightly illustrated texts. Keep it short, talk about the stories when you are doing other activities and ease into the whole process.

Reading with your children is an opportunity for you to share your values. If you value reading, work it into whatever part of your day that you can. Even that can make a point of its own - that reading is so important that it is part of every aspect of your day. The values I want to share with my daughters are imagination, self-reliance, curiosity, sympathy and empathy with others. Reading allows me to share these values without preaching. And that has to be a good thing.

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About the Author

Jenny Ostini is a full-time mother and part-time OLO editor with a PhD in Mass Communication and an interest in telling and listening to political stories.

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