Smoko: War over Iraq, Jacko's illness and swapping World Cup venues

Angel Eyes came back with "Don't be stupid, it is just pre-positioning. We would look pretty foolish if war started and our ships were still tied up at the wharf. Anyway, how can it be unilateral if three countries are involved?" That's when the slanging match started. But at least they all agree on one thing - that the war is about controlling Iraq's oil.

The lads just aren't hungry today. It appears that Whacko Jacko has put them off their tucker; something not helped by Tuco recounting the television special in graphic detail. The World Cup also came into discussion, with the smoko room unanimous in wanting the matches in Zimbabwe and Kenya to be transferred to South Africa. Tuco amazed us with his brilliance.

"The Kiwis won't play in Kenya, and we won't play in Zimbabwe. So send the Kiwis to Zimbabwe, and we'll go to Kenya." Good on ya!

The guys are itching for the next Queensland election to be held.

"Every day I drive past Lang Park, I feel personally insulted by the waste of money," says Blondie. "Beattie is crying poor over ambulance and land clearing money, yet spends $300 million on a footy ground." Most of the guys nod in agreement - I suspect there may be a Beattie Backlash at the coming election.

The Good, The Bad, & the Ugly welcomed the elevation of Lawrence Springborg to leadership of the Queensland Nationals.

"Thank God for that," said Angel Eyes. "I was sick of (Bob) Quinn."

"No, you dolt, he replaced Hopeless Horan," said Blondie. "Anyway, Springborg seems articulate, but his deputy (Jeff Seeney) is a bit of a Gumby. How did he get voted in?"

Tuco explained that if it weren't for Gumby, we could have been saddled with Sleepy, Dopey, Grumpy, or worse still, Vaughan Johnson. "Probably just as well then," sighed Blondie.

You can cut the tension here with a knife as Blondie and Angel Eyes glare at each other across the smoko room. Makes me almost want to go back to work. Hey, I did say almost! See you next time.