Among other things, this suggests that considerably more ethical sex education is needed, particularly in the areas of consent and respect for others.
In 2007 the consent laws in New South Wales were changed to reflect that a person is never in a state of consent unless they actively and freely state that they are. Before this, women were imagined to be in a constant state of consent unless they specified otherwise (preferably by chanting “No means no”, hands on hips).
Unfortunately this important shift in legal thinking is not reflected in the attitudes held by many young people. I recently conducted a workshop with young people about their views towards sex and consent. Much of their thinking can be summed up by the line: “No means no, but anything else means yes.”
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Silence, for some, means “Yes”, as does accepting a lift home or an alcoholic beverage. Others believe consent only needs to be given as a formal once-off in a relationship, and many see consent as a simple “Yes” or “No” that is given at the beginning of a sexual exchange, as opposed to something that is negotiated continuously throughout the sexual act.
It is little wonder that so many young people are having such negative sexual experiences.
Ethics-based education is one part of the solution. But as a community we also need to acknowledge and address where teens are at in terms of their thinking around sex and consent. It is not enough just to teach them where babies come from. We have to be willing to talk to teenagers about the more complicated, nuanced issues around sex, consent and intimacy.
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