Like what you've read?

On Line Opinion is the only Australian site where you get all sides of the story. We don't
charge, but we need your support. Here�s how you can help.

  • Advertise

    We have a monthly audience of 70,000 and advertising packages from $200 a month.

  • Volunteer

    We always need commissioning editors and sub-editors.

  • Contribute

    Got something to say? Submit an essay.


 The National Forum   Donate   Your Account   On Line Opinion   Forum   Blogs   Polling   About   
On Line Opinion logo ON LINE OPINION - Australia's e-journal of social and political debate

Subscribe!
Subscribe





On Line Opinion is a not-for-profit publication and relies on the generosity of its sponsors, editors and contributors. If you would like to help, contact us.
___________

Syndicate
RSS/XML


RSS 2.0

Death, dying, and disposal

By Zenith Virago - posted Tuesday, 10 February 2009


Imagine how it might be, if someone helped you slow down the experience, especially if you have been nursing a loved one for months at home prior to their death. If someone explained to you in advance that there is no need to pick up the phone immediately to call the funeral director (if they do, they will come and remove the body, as they are bound by law to do) and instead you sit down, or make a cup of tea, then you can just sit with the body for as long as you want, taking time to accept what has happened at last, and to see that they are released from their suffering. This may even mean overnight; time is a great healer, and a few hours can change that experience into something much more gentle. Being with a dead body can be a life changing experience.

Even if people die suddenly or in hospital, it is possible to bring their body home for a vigil, to sit with it, and just be together before it disappears into smoke or into the earth. Most people find this time beneficial, even if they were a little scared or reluctant at first. With a little encouragement or assistance, they approach the body in their own time, and I have seen amazing changes happen. You can spend some time talking to it, and you get to see clearly that the spirit is gone.

Talking to the body or to their spirit offers us a sense of communication and comfort that assists us to feel better and more at ease. You can say goodbye, wish them well, cry, laugh, and feel. When you are ready you can make the call - it may be hours later, it maybe in the morning or the evening - when you feel ready to let the body go. A few hours at this time, may make a massive difference to how you handle your sense of loss.

Advertisement

From there we usually create a ceremony of some sort, and decide on a method of disposal. You can build a coffin; it has to meet certain simple requirements - but if you can build a bookshelf, you can build a coffin. (It’s all about weight dispersal.)

Many people are using cardboard coffins now which have been available in Europe and Asia for many years, and do the job perfectly. But the best and most environmentally friendly way to go is in a cloth shroud, like we see for a burial at sea. More people are moving towards this option within a natural burial ground where you can bury the body in a simple shroud or cardboard coffin, no plastic lining, with a tree planted on top. The body can disintegrate quicker back into the earth, and the roots of the tree can absorb and utilize the nutrients from the body, and transform that into nourishment for the planet, and the fauna. Who wouldn’t want to become a beautiful plant or tree, just like our cats and dogs we bury in our gardens?

With this option you can decorate the coffin or shroud on the inside as well as the outside. Children, and also adults, can draw, paste or write on it. No matter the age of the child, they can always contribute a handprint, just like an artistically challenged adult. Often people will decorate the coffin with their grandchildren so that it becomes familiar to them and opens up an opportunity for dialogue during the decorating.

You can drive the body to the ceremony in your own vehicle, an old combi, a utility, or a station wagon. You can have the ceremony in your garden surrounded by flowers and trees that you or they may have spent the last years tending. You can be in a local park, or in a community hall. There are no blanket restrictions that say you have to be in a chapel or a cemetery. Pick somewhere suitable, relevant, somewhere familiar, somewhere with memories, or just somewhere beautiful.

If you don’t want to have a burial you could opt for cremation. Although many people are now opposed to cremation as it is a toxic environmental action, and cremation is more final as then there is not even a body or a bone left. It also doesn’t take any space, and doesn’t need tending like a grave.

a pioneer in this field in Australia, it is my experience that taking a more natural and accepting approach offers a fuller experience; for the person themselves, and those that care for them, and have travelled on their journey with them.

Advertisement

Dying can be likened to being on a bus travelling a dangerous mountain pass, with sheer drops off the side, on a narrow winding road, with an unknown driver. The destination is written on the front, but is new and unexplored. Other visitors have not come back to share how it is, and there are a million opinions about what lies ahead. The view could be magnificent, breathtaking even, with opportunities, for depth of feeling, for personal insights, for growth, but some people are afraid to even believe they are on the bus, or afraid to open their eyes or their hearts to see or feel the experience.

When it comes to death, do something creative and beneficial for your friends and family, open up a dialogue, tell each other how you feel, what you would want if you were to die suddenly, plan your own funeral. Contemplate your own death. Have fun with it while you can. Any ideas you give to your friends will help them to give you what you want; this is a great gift to everyone, and you can go out in the style you want.

  1. Pages:
  2. 1
  3. Page 2
  4. All


Discuss in our Forums

See what other readers are saying about this article!

Click here to read & post comments.

5 posts so far.

Share this:
reddit this reddit thisbookmark with del.icio.us Del.icio.usdigg thisseed newsvineSeed NewsvineStumbleUpon StumbleUponsubmit to propellerkwoff it

About the Author

Zenith Virago, is the President of the Natural Death Centre, she is a consultant, Celebrant, and Guide. She has co-authored a book, The Intimacy of Death and Dying, which will be published by Allen and Unwin in July 2009. She is often invited to speak on ABC radio or other media on related topics, and is passionate about Byron Bay; where she calls home.

Related Links
Natural Death Centre
Zenith Virago

Creative Commons LicenseThis work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Article Tools
Comment 5 comments
Print Printable version
Subscribe Subscribe
Email Email a friend
Advertisement

About Us Search Discuss Feedback Legals Privacy